After a recent outburst, 2wanda and i decided that the cartoon animals that Charmin uses to promote their toilet paper should be called the Dingle Bears.

Onomatopizza n. pizza that sounds as good as it tastes.

It's difficult to convincingly convey the excitement of soccer to doubters when even a die-hard fan says that it's boring.  The beauty of soccer is in the Brownian motion of the player-particles using their fundamental forces to try to squeeze a stray quantum from their environment in the right direction; the game is all velocity and zero certainty until that miraculous moment when a goal is scored, a wave function collapse where the path that the ball describes as it crosses the goal line is like the trail left behind by ions in a cloud chamber.  The schemes drawn up by the coaches are like Feynman diagrams that describe perfectly the mathematics involved in the behavior of the player-particles, and utterly fail to describe what happens when those player-particles meet a competing set of laws of physics.  This is not boring.  Yes, goals are rare, but the fact that a goal has not been scored is not proof that nothing is happening.  Many seem to like saying that matter is mostly empty space given the huge distance between nucleus and electron cloud, but matter cannot exist without that space; the space is part of the matter.  The lulls are part of the game.  Soccer is a goat rodeo, a complex system of strange attractors where observing the paths described is as exciting as witnessing their destination.

Select an editor.  To change later, run 'select-editor'.
  1. /bin/ed
  2. /bin/nano        <---- easiest
  3. /usr/bin/vim.basic
  4. /usr/bin/vim.tiny

A new reality TV show from TLC, bringing together twenty-something male fans of My Little Pony and pro wrestling: "Bronies & Jabronis"

<palecur> some journals you wonder if maybe they think 'peer review' means 'we asked the Duchess of York if it was cool'
<ronebofh> ha
<rone> either that or craning your neck to look at the dude in the next urinal
<palecur> nice
<rone> "excellent dick-holding form, nice steady stream, good stance"
<palecur> "bit of a splatter towards the end, that'll cost him from the Belarussian judge."
<rone> "fingers slipped on the zip-up... hurried it."
<nutrino> too many shakes

In respose to the latest entry in the Public Editor's Journal:  Correcting any falsehood uttered by any public official is a small justice that must be done by any responsible journalist.  You ask, "How can the Times do this in a way that is objective and fair?"  My answer is: don't sweat it.  Any reasonable person who cares about objectivity and fairness will be in the ballpark.  If you don't get it right, readers will let you know, and you'll work to improve it.  Just start doing it now, because this can't wait any longer.

I am forced to add that i do not care for the phrase "truth vigilante"; it implies that there is an official authority for the truth.  There is none.  We must all be vigilant of the truth, but whenever a newspaper reports a falsehood, it is failing at its job, which is to inform and not to misinform.

Pope Benedict said on Monday that gay marriage was one of several threats to the traditional family that undermined "the future of humanity itself".

When captain_nesky moved back from Los Angeles, she brought her washer and dryer, so we ditched the crappy old appliances that came with our new house and installed hers instead with elmuchacho's help.  Unfortunately, the drain hose on the washer was busted.  After poking around on the Intertubes, i not only found the replacement hose for sale, but also found a video showing how to replace it.  So, on Christmas morning, that's what i did; my mechanical skills proved to be up to the task, and i only needed an extra hand from 2wanda for the final step because i lacked the apposite tool.  My dad was always quite handy, and i've wanted to become a little better at it, and with the new house, i think that i'll have the motivation.  So far, so good.

You know you're getting old when you find a long pubic hair in your underpants that's gone white near its midpoint.

Putting this out there for the mighty Google overmind to pick up: if your shiny new Uverse TV installation won't let you record any programs with the message "DVR not available on this TV", you need to "unblock the memory" of the DVR by resetting it like so:

• Push and hold the Down and OK buttons on the DVR
• Push and hold down the Power button until the picture resets, then release
• Once the gear appears on the screen, let go of the Down and OK butons

This was supposed to have been posted on the day after "38" but, well, i've been too damned busy with the move.  "38" was taken in the old house's bathroom, and this one's in the new house's bathroom  The original plan also called for an even shorter haircut and a cleanly shaven face, but i guess i can save such radical change for a more typical milestone, despite the predictability.  I'm certain that you can all see the silver in my temple, above.  Now turn that damn racket off.

Kimmy ordered a Dumpster for this weekend's Operation Garage Freedom, a.k.a. "Toss It or Burn It Days 1 & 2", so that should cover all of my spare time for Saturday and Sunday.  The new house is slowly looking like us, but there is still a tremendous amount of boxes to unpack and still more odds and ends at the old house to pack and move, and a lot less room than i'd realized in which to unpack.

I also became a grandfather a month and a half ago.  That hasn't quite sunk in yet, but the kid is pretty darn cute.  I look forward to spoiling him.  I'm also looking forward to being done with the move so we can get back to socializing; it's been stressful and we badly need some R&R.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

When i see 'Skyrim', all i can think of is this.

So, until recently, one of your online social circles was plagued by a complete f**ktard, one that made you miss the last f**ktard who wasn't that bad but who nonetheless left several years ago after receiving a lot of abuse due to being a f**ktard, and then in another online social circle, you find the first guy, so you give him another chance, and, well, he's still a f**ktard, and even his friends tell him, "Dude, you act like a f**ktard."

And by "you", i mean "me".  Anyway, i'm tired of f**ktards.  The content that i'm seeing on Google Plus reminds me a lot of good Usenet discussions, and by "a lot" i mean "sometimes it's f**king exhausting to keep up with the crap."  It doesn't have the softness of Facebook that's primarily fueled by your high school classmates and your family.  And it's even higher in nerdrage quotient than LiveJournal's peak, and it's perhaps similar in quality to Twitter but has much larger caliber because there's actually room to expand commentary.  So of course we are waiting for Google to f**k it all up because they're very eager to get on with winning the "next Microsoft" title belt.

f**ktards... why did it have to be f**ktards?

When i see people talking about Scala and Clojure, i first assume it's politically themed because i misread the words as Scalia and Cloture.

From user beadbear:

I worked in food service in the French Quarter for many years, and have waited on most of the teams in the NFL. THE MOST curteous, well-mannered, and may I also say best-dressed team I have ever served were the Oakland Raiders. After the team paid and left, I met Al Davis. He quizzed me able how his players conduced themselves in the restaurant. he was concerned, because he had heard about the scene and utter disaster that the 49's had made, who had food fights in the dining room, broke furniture, and refused to pay their $2,000 bar tab the week before. The dining room the Niners used had to be closed the rest of the evening, due to all the broken dishes, and food everywhere. Not the Raiders, however! In fact, when they ordered it was "please" and "thank you". A couple of the defensive linemen in fact insisted on helping with the trays coming out of the kitchen. They said that they ordered a lot of food and that it wasn't fair to me to try to lift them. Mr. Davis apologised to me for the behavior of the other team. And he insisited on tipping me on behalf of the San Francisco team.Because in addition to arguing about the bar tab and the food cost (they decided not to have what had been pre-ordered, which was a lot lessmoney), I didn't get tipped, and had to spend three hours cleaning up-12 large bags of food and dishes. Al Davis was a great man. He brought energy opportunity and compassion wherever he went. He insisted that American young men of all ethnic backgrounds be afforded the chance to play in the NFL. I hope to see the day when ownership of NFL teams is as diverse as the players.

Jason Mustian: I have a form of bulimia where instead of sticking my finger down my throat I drink until I throw-up.

rone: that's called "bibulimia"

ZOMBIE LINCOLN 2012

VOTE FOR THE ONLY REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE WHO THINKS BRAINS ARE GOOD