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A Minor Internet Celebrity - LiveJournal.com
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"Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody Walk The Dinosaur!"
News Roundup:
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
Newsbreak:
THUD Newsbreak: Pickups & Peabodys
Boom, boom, acka lacka boom boom...
"This is a situation that needs to get UN-f**kED right now!"
That's from the greatest, most-quotable action film of the 90s, Con Air. Yeah, I said it, and I'm proud of it. They just don't make gloriously sadistic R-rated pictures where shit blows up real good like that one anymore.
March 25th, 2007
That's Sunday's news update, and sorry it took me a couple of days to post it. Those America's Next Top Model pictures are totally f**ked up, by the way. And 'Nella, that George Washington joke was just for you. He's coming. He's coming. HE'S COMING. (But seriously, Paul Giamatti as John Adams? How f**king great is that?)
I don't know if anybody watches Saturday Night Live on a regular basis these days, because most weeks it sucks harder than a shit sandwich on rye bread made by your grandmother's evil twin while listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber, but the Peyton Manning episode this past week was pretty good. I'm not a football guy, but Manning's definitely one of the few quarterbacks with personality, and he did a nice job and he wasn't afraid to poke fun at himself. It's too bad that the funniest sketch, the watercooler one that everyone was talking about, was the first sketch up after the monologue. They've taken it down off YouTube, but you should definitely try to find the United Way parody. It's f**king awesome. "Spend time with your kids, so Peyton Manning doesn't."
I've been listening to more music recently than I have been in the past few months -- usually, I've just been playing "Don't Stop Believin'" over and over. But I caught this song, "Time Is A Runaway," by the Alternate Routes while listening to my local radio station of choice, 91.3 - The Summit, and I really liked it. Anyone know anything about them? That track's definitely end track material. I've also been listening to Bob Dylan again, and revisiting one of my favorite artists, Bruce Hornsby. I'm a sucker for good pop piano, and Hornsby is definitely one of the masters of that very narrow genre. Check out his album "Halycon Days" if you haven't already.
On another board I post at, somebody posed the question "What is cool?" and people have been listing things or people they think are cool. I thought since you might care, I'd share my picks here as they come in:
My first choice went to John Krasinski, of "The Office." He's one of those actors playing one of those characters who both men and women love -- Jim Halpert is a "good guy" who's not a total p***y, who's prone to bouts of immaturity without falling into the "fratboy manchild" cliche of recent years. And with a film career about to take off (he's in George Clooney's upcoming football film and in Mandy Moore's latest entry in the "Gay Shit for Women" field), Krasinski has the potential to be the next John Cusack. Krasinski, you are cool.
Speaking of end credits and John Krasinski, I just had an actor drop out of "Redemption Falls" tonight. Unfortunate, but the guy got a better gig and I can't blame him. So if you know anyone who's a combination of John Krasinski and Justin Chambers (Alex from Grey's Anatomy) and has, as the kids say, "mad phat piano skillz", pass their name along and you'll get an associate producer credit.
Finally, because I'm a member of the Supernatural and Aaron Sorkin Vengance Hour communities here on F-Book, my friends page often consists of people talking about one or both of these shows. I swear, you Studio 60 fans are some deluded people. Funny that I say that, considering that I was a deluded Studio 60 fan for a long-ass time. Anyhow, it looks like we got a little war going on -- I saw a post today where the S60 fans were whining about the Supernatural and Veronica Mars fans spamming/flooding (that ditz) Kristin from E!'s Save our Show poll. I'm pretty sure Supernatural fans and Veronica Mars fans could take Studio 60 fans, but still: Nerd Fight! Nerd Fight! Nerd Fight! Nerd Fight!
Oh, and I totally bashed the shit out of the side of my head yesterday by walking into a window. Don't laugh, it f**king hurts.
See you Todd F. Packers tomorrow.
"Puking Blood. That's Bad, Right?"
I am, of course, kidding, but I think this coffee I've been drinking is trying to kill me. We're talking full on ulcer-utory, Lenny Briscoe, "f**k you, cancer, where's my coffee and hooker?", standing over a dead body while making a sarcastic quip into the doink-doink, rip the paint off walls coffee. Day old coffee, even.
"From the director of 'Indian Summer' comes a story about two friends..."
The director in question is Mike Binder, whose new film Reign Over Me opens this weekend. I'm not quite sure what to make of these commercials, but Binder has this tendency to make a film that seems life-affirming, but is in reality, not. His summer camp classic (aka the anti-Redemption Falls) Indian Summer is a great example of this; that movie is used as a motivational tool in my career but really, that movie is about yuppies with sucky lives who realize the only time they were happy was at summer camp.
Here's today's news update. The 22nd marks the second month anniversary of these columns, so, you know, go me!
March 22, 2007
Sorry I haven't been writing much on this journal. I assure you that I am not dead. Been doing a lot of other writing, though, which is always stressful, but good. I've downloaded a bunch of screenplays from various websites and have been reading them. It's helping with the juices. Also, I had to work all this week, which I wasn't planning on.
Bought Robert Graysmith's first book, Zodiac, recently, just to see how it compares to the film. Looking forward to reading it, although the last book I read was Jack Ketchum's deeply, deeply, deeply f**ked up The Girl Next Door, so maybe I should get off this true crime jag. It's doing wonders for my faith and belief in a higher power.
I'll try to have some more thoughts on television and pop culture within the next couple of days.
My 25 Favorite Films Of All Time, Fresh For '07...You Suckas!
Okay, sports fans, as Kim Possible would say (shut the hell up), here's the sitch: I have been considering going back and revising my top 10 list of favorite/most influential movies of all time for a while, since I last made the list in summer of 2006. But it was watching Zodiac and thinking about it and realizing that, even after one viewing, this may become one of my favorite movies of all time, that I decided to pull the trigger on it. (You will not find Fincher's masterpiece on this list.) However, when I sat down to revise this list, it quickly spiraled out of control and shot up to 25, which, I'm presenting to you because TV Tattle hasn't updated their site and won't until tomorrow. Thus, no news updates.
These are not what I consider to be the best movies of all time, although you could certainly make an argument for some of them as being on that list. These are merely some the films that have stuck with me, that I have watched repeatedly, that I have come to love, cherish, be moved by, or films that have influenced me as a writer/artist/pretentious dick. I acknowledge that I have huge gaps in my film knowledge, and this list reflects that. If I really sat down and thought about what i considered to be the greatest films of all time, there would certainly be many older films on this list.
But I'm not a man who loves film -- I'm a man who loves the films he loves. Now, onto the list:
25. LONGTIME COMPANION (Norman Rene, 1990)
24. A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGENCE (Steven Spielberg, 2001)
23. TRUE ROMANCE (Tony Scott, 1993)
22. SCROOGED (Richard Donner, 1988)
21. THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (Judd Apatow, 2005)
20. CON AIR (Simon West, 1997)
19. MALCOLM X (Spike Lee, 1992)
18. ARMY OF DARKNESS (Sam Raimi, 1993)
17. ALMOST FAMOUS/UNTITLED (Cameron Crowe, 2000)
16. BACK TO THE FUTURE (Robert Zemeckis, 1985)
15. BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise, 1991)
14. THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO (Whit Stillman, 1998)
13. DAZED AND CONFUSED (Richard Linklater, 1993)
12. GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (James Foley, 1992)
11. ANGELS IN AMERICA (Mike Nichols, 2003)*
10. MATINEE (Joe Dante, 1993)
09. KISS KISS BANG BANG (Shane Black, 2005)
08. UNFORGIVEN (Clint Eastwood, 1992)
07. THE INSIDER (Michael Mann, 1999)
06. NASHVILLE (Robert Altman, 1976)
05. THE SEARCHERS (John Ford, 1956)
04. GOODFELLAS (Martin Scorsese, 1990)
03. RUSHMORE (Wes Anderson, 1999)
02. AMERICAN GRAFFITTI (George Lucas, 1973)
01. L.A. CONFIDENTIAL (Curtis Hanson, 1997)
*Miniseries, Special Dispensation Given by the Leonard-Justus Institute of Popular Culture
"And God, God Will Tear Us Apart. Again."
OMG look, a paraphrase of a Joy Division quote. I'm so f**king emo. (Or punk. Or maybe goth.)
Anyway, today's completely witless driblet is about enlightenment. I've decided that I'm going to develop a new age philosophy called "Rocknrollology." The central tenant of this philosophy is going to involve attempting to achieve enlightenment through meditation and intense study of rock music. Being able to play rock music is not a requirement to join this philosophy.
This philosophy is born out of the realization that the secrets of the universe -- the secret to eternal peace and enlightenment -- is found within the piano exit to Derek and the Dominos' "Layla." I'm convinced that if you listen to that song enough times, you'll advance to a higher plane of understanding or some shit.
Enlightenment can also be found in, but is not limited, to the following songs:
"Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Joy Division
"Caravan" - Van Morrison and the Band
"Passionate Kisses" - Lucinda Williams
"Angel from Montgomery"
"Frank and Jesse James/Desperadoes Under The Eaves" - Warren Zevon
"Fairytale of New York" - The Pogues, with Kirsty MacColl
"Ooh La La" - The Faces
And more. Many more.
There, I just invented a bullshit pop philosophy. When do I get to go on Oprah?
"And We'll All Float On Anyway..."
I saw David Fincher's masterful Zodiac tonight, and you should run out to see this film. 300, with its ass-kicking box-office take, will be around until May. I'm betting that Zodiac won't.
The best thing I can say about this awesome, awesome, awesome movie is that it's the kind of movie that makes you want to hit up an all-night diner or cafe, order cup after cup of coffee, and talk about it until the sun comes up. Like when ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.9) ink_n_imp and I saw Francis Lawrence's Constantine. Like that, only to the tenth power of awesome.
So see it, if only to come onto the internets and talk to me about it.
I am still processing this amazing film, and I hope to have thoughts about it in the next few days, but boy, did I ever identify with Jake Gyllenhall in this one. Between this and Raines, it was "make Brendan your b***h with the self-identification" week.
(Oh, and here's my hair theory in 90 seconds or less: You can have two of the following three things without looking dirty: a beard, long hair, or sideburns. You can't have all three -- only Jesus can successfully pull that shit off. And maybe John Lennon. So I shaved yesterday. I went with the long hair and burns. My totally b***hin' 70s throwback sideburns. I've never had long, awesome sideburns before -- and they are awesome.)
"Hey, Cool Down, Big Guy. I Already Told You -- You're Not My Type"
Today's News Roundup:
March 16th, 2007
![[info]](http://l-files.livejournal.net/userhead/529?v=1322059303) potthead, that Duchovny item was for you, even though you didn't submit it as news.
I'm going to be trying some new things with the style of the column over the next couple of days. I've been talking to a lot of readers about what they'd like to see or how they think the column's been going, and many of them have had some excellent suggestions. So if you see something you like, or if you dislike what I'm doing, drop me a line, either in the comments section or brendan.m.leonard@gmail.com if you're reading this on the Facebook.
--If you're not watching The Wire, you should. I'm not kidding about this -- one of, if not the, best cop shows, hell one of the best shows ever. The only thing that's been better on HBO is Deadwood. I'm not kidding. Anyway, here's a piece from the Washington Post about Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, one of the actresses on the fourth season of the show (which I haven't yet seen). It's a wonderful profile and says some very moving things about how art and acting can truly change a person's life, as well as this absolutely chilling statement from Wire producer Ed Burns:
"If all the dead people [killed] on Oliver Street could stand up, there wouldn't be room for them."
Chilling.
--Speaking of the transformative power of art, I'm kind of hooked on the clips from Jersey Boys (ha!) I've been watching on the YouTube lately. I'm of the mindset that the jukebox musical is an overall embarassment to Broadway theatre, but I'm also of the mindset that when it's done well, it really works. So when John Lloyd Young as Frankie Valli addresses the audience at the 60th Tony Awards with:
"It was all great. But the first time the four of us made that sound -- our sound -- when everything dropped away and all there was the music...that was the best. It's why I'm still out there singin'. Like that bunny on TV with the battery, I just keep goin' and goin' and goin' -- chasin' the music. Tryin' to get home."
Before launching into "Who Loves You"...well, goosebumps every time. Sorry. I'm an easy lay.
(And please tell me I am not the only one who thinks it's hilarious that Joe Pesci is partially repsonsible for the creation of the Four Seasons. That's just all kinds of awesome, people!)
--Outlaw Vern was in rare form today with his review of the cult sensation that's sweeping the nation, The Secret. How did I not know this infuriating piece of shit existed until today? Vern and this article from Salon.com pretty much sum up all the relevant points on this snake-oil scam (which really pisses me off most of all for not thinking of it first), but I just want to say that if thinking positive was all it took for success, I would have been rich by the end of the school year I spent scamming NYU out of free housing and watching ER in my shorts.
--In conclusion, here's a Japanese version of "Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young (Hetero Love Theme from Redemption Falls)". Sweet Big Baby Jesus, I do love me some Jim Steinman.
And Diane Lane in that red dress. And her great ass.
"What Has Two Thumbs and Watched Three Hours of TV Tonight? This Guy!"
Thanks to whichever LJ user I pulled this accompanying LJ icon from. I don't remember your name, nor do I have the patience to search you out, but since I don't want the LJ Icon John Krazinski is Jim Halpert OMG So Cute Patrol coming after me, consider this your credit until further notice.
I had quite an internal debate this afternoon about whether I was going to watch Supernatural or Grey's Anatomy tonight. I knew that whatever show I chose, I could watch a crappy internet version of the next day. Had I a Nielsen box, I would have gone with Supernatural. And I was really debating about it, as in, verbally debating it in the office. Finally, my boss asked "Game Time: Supernatural or Grey's Anatomy?" And I went with Grey's in the moment, so that's what I watched, followed by the premiere of Raines. Sorry, my Supernatural homies, I just love me some compelling medical drama. I'll catch up with you guys when I see the episode on the internets this weekend. (And I'm still two episodes behind, anyway -- I need to see "Born Under A Bad Sign" and "Tall Tales", anyway.)
Anyway, I liked Grey's quite a bit, but I'm a p***y like that, and Raines was absolutely f**king great. Best detective show since House? Better than Monk? A show to fill the noir spot in your soul left by the pussification of Veronica Mars?
Goddamn right. How can you not love a show whose lines of dialogue are the following?
"Who you talking to?"
"The dead. They hunger for brains. The feasting starts at sundown."
Watch this show, people. WATCH THIS SHOW.
Unbelievably Witless Driblets - 3.14.07
I've talked about the resume for the last two days and am tired of talking about it. So while i don't want to talk about why Sylvia Likens is the reason I have an extremely hard time subscribing to the idea of a higher power, here are some random thoughts instead:
--You know when a totally kick-ass movie ends with a totally kick-ass final shot, and then, out of the black, as the lights start to come up and the credits roll, the Dolby Surround System blasts out a totally kick-ass classic rock and roll anthem of awesomeness and ass-kicking justice over said credits? Like in V for Vendetta when Parlament gets blown all to hell, and then, Keith starts to shred on the guitar, Charlie Watts pounds the skins, and Mick's like "Everywhere I hear the sounds of marchin', chargin' feet, boy/'Cause summer's here and the time is right for fightin' in the street, boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"? Real life should be more like that.
--I saw on the Reuters that Germany is attempting to get Hitler's citizenship revoked. I appreciate and understand the symbolic gesture, but still...little late, fellas. If I ever become a megomaniacal, genocidal dictator obsessed with the Arthurian mythos and Christian mysticism, I will make sure that my government is a well-oiled machine free of bureacracy so that when I kill myself and my mistress in a bunker on the eve of defeat, the paperwork petitioning to revoke my citizenship of my country of choice is filed the next day.
--Today's "Completely Bizarre and Awesome Facebook Group" is 'i love amber tamblyn enough to forgive her for the grudge 2,' which had this little gem in its profile:
"this group is for those of us who love amber tamblyn, despite her occasionally questionable choice in roles. we really know it's all about her offensive feminist poetry anyway.
and her huge ass."
I found that to be incredibly amusing, because even though I haven't read Ms. Tamblyn's offensive feminist poetry, I know that she writes offensive poetry, and she does have a huge ass. A great ass, that one day I would like to have my head ALL THE WAY UP IT! (Pacino) Ah, Amber Tamblyn. Number one on the list of celebrities within my age bracket whom I one day hope to have relations with. Oh, how I would hit that. With the force of a thousand suns, friends. The force of a thousand suns.
--Speaking of Facebook, it is perpetually weird to me to log in and see the other people with whom I share a last name -- the distant relatives who are actually responsible for getting a building named at Texas A&M after them -- on the Facebook feed. Especially when they're kind of attractive. Not completely attractive, as my bloodline has not produced very many hotties, but f**kable. (Dollars to donuts that all the people who share my last name defriend me once this gets posted there.) It really makes me wonder how much power or credence my last name would give me in certain parts of Texas.
--Speaking of hitting hotties with the force of a thousand suns, I got my Walsh Jesuit High School alumni magazine today. I read it, and proceeded to be depressed for the rest of the afternoon, as is often the case in anything relating to Walsh Jesuit High School. My fifth year reunion is in November, and if last year's was any indication, there are going to be over a hundred people I went to school with, all with college diplomas, in that room. So after much soul searching, I've decided, that if I go to this thing (and I don't even know if I'll be in the area anymore), I'm going to get drunk, be obnoxious, perhaps start a fight with the classmate who tried to sue me, and attempt to f**k at least one of my former classmates. (Note: I will in all likelyhood do neither of the last two things, plz don't sue or defriend me, k?)
But I hope it's kareoke night that night in November at the Holiday Inn. Please let it be kareoke night.
Damn Right I'm Payin' Anything To Roll The Dice Just One More Time...
Today, I was livin' the dream, workin' hard to get my fill. Finished up my cover letter and resume and started sending that out. I've decided that I'm going to try to hit up 10 different outdoor/experiential education and recreation jobs a day for the next week and a half. Although I'm already behind because I didn't start sending them out until late yesterday afternoon, so I just have to make sure to send them out to 15 places tomorrow. That'll be about 70-100 places to start off with, and I've got a nice little list of locations to which I am applying. That list is, for the record:
8. Hawaii, for kicks. 7. Greater Memphis Area. 6. Florida in general. 5. Greater Miami Area. 4. Greater Austin Area. 3. 15-90 minutes from New York. 2. 15-90 minutes from Los Angeles. 1. Long Island
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